You Chose…Poorly

We ordered Papa John’s tonight.

It’s kind of weird. Once upon a time, whenever I ordered pizza, I felt like I was really living the good life. Not so much anymore. “Fuck it,” it usually goes, “Let’s order pizza.”

Little known fact: the quality of delivery pizza all depends on what happens to it as it steams in the box. The big chains all design their pizza from the ground up for that — they’re designed to steam in the box.

That’s why local pizza joints — and real pizza, for that matter — don’t hold up well when delivered. It’s like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: once the pie moves past the Great Seal, bad things start to happen.